Features | Rebecca Nwankwo : Coaching, Mindset, and The Lies We Tell Ourselves

The "Beyond the Boardroom podcast" host, Aleksandra King, renowned podcaster and speaker (who has been referenced by outlets including The Mirror and The Sun), recently spoke with Rebecca Nwankwo about her book, The Lies We Tell Ourselves, and her work helping the next generation of leaders. The focus of the conversation was on dismantling the mental barriers that keep ambitious people stuck.

The Core Philosophy: Neuroplasticity and Rewiring Your Mind

Rebecca's coaching business, EAP, and her book are rooted in the scientific principle of neuroplasticity—the idea that the mind is not fixed and can be rewired. She points out that people often operate within mental "cages" formed by childhood experiences or past failures, likening it to the 'elephant mentality' where a huge creature believes it is confined by a weak fence simply because it was conditioned that way when it was small.

"We are the authors of our own book," says Rebecca, emphasizing the control we have over our narrative.

Coaching Tools to Break the Cycle

EAP coaching and the advice in The Lies We Tell Ourselves offer leaders practical, actionable steps to break the loop of self-doubt. The conversation on the “Beyond the Boardroom podcast” highlighted three key tools:

• Strategic Visualization: This is not daydreaming, but a strategy to program your brain. Rebecca shares her personal experience, including test-driving her dream Audi A4, stating: “It’s different when you see something, but when you actually start to feel it, experience and experience, it is, okay, that's it.” Visualization forces the brain to identify the goal, which then organically leads to asking: "How can I get there?"

• Intentional Time Management: Rebecca, who balanced a Global Executive MBA with full-time work and family, stresses the need to be "militant" with time. It is about being intentional and protecting the hours dedicated to your own goals (EAP) versus pleasing others (a nine-to-five job).

• The Power of Journaling Negative Thoughts: While it may feel uncomfortable or "terrible," Rebecca recommends journaling negative self-talk for a short, set period (like a week) to identify patterns. Bringing the lie "to life" on paper is the first step toward disproving it.

Actionable Takeaway: The Self-Truth Exercise

To build mental strength over time, Rebecca recommends the 'Self-Truth' exercise:

1. Identify one major lie you tell yourself (e.g., "I'm not capable of being a leader").

2. Consciously hold that thought and recall one or two real-life scenarios where you successfully led, regardless of whether it was in a work situation (e.g., organizing a kids' party, leading a church event).

3. These genuine examples of competence disprove the lie, building "earned confidence."